Week 7
The Commissioner’s Report, Week 7:
Fellas I gotta say this last week was a DOOZY, and not just because I was in a drunken haze for most of Sunday. I’m walking tall after turning around my 0-3 start with a definitive win over Chuck, and that alone has had me bricked since Sunday, but with a leadership change for the in-season Commissioner’s Cup, it’s getting too hot to handle. What’s got me over the edge and needing a new pair of shorts, tho, is what next week’s matchups are looking like with a tightening playoff picture. More on that in a bit.
Week 7 Results and Stats:
Week 7 | San Bernardino | |||
Place | Team | PF | W/L | Points |
1 | Rob | 188.2 | W | 25 |
2 | Nauch | 176.7 | W | 19 |
3 | Bryan | 164.7 | W | 16 |
4 | Joe | 161.6 | W | 13 |
5 | Wings | 161.5 | W | 11 |
6 | Erik | 160.4 | L | 8 |
7 | Ryan | 147.6 | L | 6 |
8 | Gio | 137.5 | L | 4 |
9 | Chuck | 129.2 | L | 2 |
10 | Ant | 108.8 | L | 1 |
Scoring Stats | ||||
Period | Avg PF | Spread | Top Score | Low Score |
This Week | 153.63 | 79.4 | 188.2 (ROB) | 108.8 (ANT) |
Last Week | 148.72 | 113.1 | 211.1 (BRY) | 98 (NCH) |
Difference | +4.91 | -33.7 | -22.9 | +10.80 |
Season Average | 158.31 | 97.70 | 213.19 | 115.49 |
Difference | -4.68 | -18.30 | -24.99 | -6.69 |
2022 Week 6 | 149.13 | 71.50 | 178.05 (JOE) | 106.55 (NCH) |
Difference | +4.51 | +7.90 | +10.15 | +2.25 |
2023 CC Standings | Playoff Picture | |||||||||
Place | Team | PTS | Behind | Interval | Place | Team | W-L | PF | ∆ | |
1 | Rob | 97 | - | - | 1 (bye) | Gio | 5-2 | 1178.6 | - | |
2 | Bryan | 90 | -7 | -7 | 2 (bye) | Bryan | 5-2 | 1174.9 | -3.7 | |
3 | Gio | 86 | -11 | -4 | 3 | Wings | 4-3 | 1185.8 | 1 GB | |
4 | Chuck | 83 | -14 | -3 | 4 | Chuck | 4-3 | 1152.5 | -33.3 | |
5 | Wings | 82 | -15 | -1 | 5 | Ryan | 4-3 | 1108.4 | -44.1 | |
6 | Ryan | 77 | -20 | -5 | 6 | Joe | 4-3 | 1082.4 | -26 | |
7 | Joe | 77 | -20 | 0 | 7 | Rob | 3-4 | 1159.4 | 1 GB | |
8 | Nauch | 64 | -33 | -13 | 8 | Nauch | 3-4 | 1018.1 | -141.3 | |
9 | Erik | 62 | -35 | -2 | 9 | Erik | 2-5 | 1123.6 | 2 GB | |
10 | Ant | 17 | -80 | -45 | 10 | Ant | 1-6 | 898.2 | 3 GB | |
Commish’s Analysis
The midseason’s been dramatic to say the least. After back-to-back losses by the Defending Champ, Gio suddenly sees a few faces in his rearview mirror since taking the League Lead in Week 3. With these two losses averaging 133 PPG (versus 182 PPG during his 5-0 start), it’s a concerning development, but it’s also helped blow the Commissioner Cup race wide open. The other previous leaders, Chuck & Ryan, both have had similar skids to bring new blood into the inaugural in-season tournament.
Rob, with his Bengals core on bye and coming off of and three consecutive losses (despite being top 5 in PF) had a moment of triumph today with a P1 performance and making the stunning climb to top of the table. It’s some good consolation for the tough goings. Shout out to Commish Cup for providing this opportunity.
It’s not all doom and gloom, though. Rob’s next three opponents are currently the bottom three in PF so he could quickly right the ship in the playoff picture as well. He’ll need to continue to win against his biggest foe: history
Rob’s Teams Through Week 7 | |||
2023 | 2022 | 2021 | |
PSI* | 7th | 2nd | 2nd |
CC** | 1st | 3rd | 1st |
PF | 4th | 4th | 1st |
Result | ??? | Lost Round 1 | Missed Playoffs |
*Playoff Seeding Index; **Commish Cup Formally Began in 2023
The playoff picture itself is also in a sweet state and has lined up in a way that makes the upcoming Week 8 Slate ripe full of implications.
- (3) Wings vs. (2) Bryan: The two hottest teams in the League clash to see who will take the second (possibly first…) seed into week eight. Both these teams have been on a tear after slow starts and are hoping to keep it going
HOT KITCHEN, HOTTER WINGS | |||
Week 4-7 | W-L | PF | Top 3 Finishes |
Wings | 4-0 (1st) | 745.5 (1st) | 3 (1st) |
Bryan | 3-1 (t-2) | 714.1 (2nd) | 2 (t-2) |
- (4) Chuck vs. (5) Ryan: On the opposite side, these two teams have been looking to recapture the magic they had to start the year. Both find themselves at 4-3 and in danger of falling out of the playoff picture, so safe to say this is a cant-lose game for both teams involved.
WHITE-OFF | |||
Week 4-7 | W-L | PF | Top 3 Finishes |
Chuck | 2-2 | 615.3 (6th) | 1 |
Ryan | 1-3 | 557.7 (9th) | 0 |
- (7) Rob vs. (8) Nauch: Already talked about Rob’s situation, but this week he faces off against the other surprise of the week in Nauch. Both teams are 3-4 and is a must-win to have a shot at getting back into the playoff picture in a highly up-and-down season.
LOD INTERNATIONAL GAME | |||
Week 4-7 | W-L | PF | Top 3 Finishes |
Rob | 1-3 | 704.7 (3rd) | 2 |
Nauch | 2-2 | 597.7 (7th) | 2 |
- (6) Joe vs. (9) Erik: Outside of his record-breaking performance in Week 5, Erik’s not had much going this season after lofty expectations. Joe hasn’t exactly been that great either, especially in the last few weeks, but has benefitted from a much easier schedule. Still, gotta be happy for Joe to finally have a winning record and be in contention this late into the season (first time since 2020). So while I don’t think this will be as easy of a match as it seems on paper, luck’s certainly favoring one over the other. Either way, I do think the loser of this matchup may really start to consider pushing the red button.
TILT WATCH | |||
Week 4-7 | W-L | PPG | OPPONENT PPG |
Joe | 3-1 | 154.63 (7th) | 144.05 |
Erik | 1-3 | 142.03* (9th) | 199.83 |
*Week 5’s 271 is omitted
- (1) Gio vs. (10) Ant: Gio’s brutal couple of weeks have already been discussed, but what a better rebound than to be going up against Ant, who is in the midst of a historically bad season and the only team to fare worse than Gio in the past two weeks. This is a small sample size, of course, and Gio’s lowest score this season (129.7) has only been surpassed by Ant twice. Trying my best to ignore the trap game implications… but IF Gio loses it’s gonna be open season in the playoff picture.
PLEASE GOD | |||
Week 6-7 | W-L | PPG | Best CC Finish |
Gio | 0-2 | 133.6 (9th) | 7th |
Ant | 0-2 | 116.9 (10th) | 8th |
Postgame Interviews
ROB (P1)
ROB fadez. Huge performance this week when everyone had you written off. I know you’re already celebrating the win south of the border but anything you wanna get on the record tonite
*transcript of video response* “Ay, I just wanna say they doubted me, they doubted by team, but… Lamar BLACKson, baby, yeah we out here man. South of the border. Come get me. Come FIND me. I’m out here man. That’s what we call GRIT.
*the LOD does not condone the language used in the group chat continuation of this postgame*
Nauch (P2)
What a fantastic Monday night closeout for your team to get yourself into second place for the week and getting a big win to stay competitive. But the big headline is immediately trading Jonathan Taylor at game's end, what direction is the team looking to head in to make the push into the playoff hunt?
We’re hoping to get some momentum from this win. Trading JT was a tough decision but we decided to sell high and ultimately we needed to move one of our RB to fill a need at WR.
Bryan (P3)
Way to make a second consecutive top 3 after sweating out challenges from both Erik and Joe. How's this momentum feeling after your tough start to the year?
It’s feeling great Andrew. The chef had his lineup stewing on low for a few weeks and now has been able to give large servings of whoop-ass.
Patrick Mahomes came in huge for you with a record-setting 80 burger. How confident are you in the rest of your team with your upcoming match versus a red-hot Wings
I’m feeling really good. The food critics have been begging to make reservations (trades) so I know Bryan’s Bistro is one of the hottest restaurants (teams) in the city
Wings has played his cards well and I’m excited to serve him a world class 4 course meal next week

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