Week 5 Power Rankings

 

Week 5 boys we are here. Not really much to report this week as we are getting into the grind. Half of the league is 2-2. The two bozos finally got a win, Eriks team is still ass and Gio well rains on top. We need the offenses in the NFL to wake up as it has been low scoring every where outside of like 5 teams. No trades to report on, so here are your week 5 Power rankings.

Chuck's Power Rankings - 

1. Gio: We get it Gio, you just throw random people in your lineup and they just fuck everyone. Working man gio, sex having gio, and undefeated gio. 

2. Ryan: Brother Ryan, thank you first of all for being the lowest scorer. Second of all, What was once thought to be the best WR core in the league, might be seeing some scary holes outside of JJ. Olave was a dud and Waddle has been non existent all year. However, I expect them to wake up soon. You are essentially playing for 1st place this week and its gonna be a good one I hope. Gio did pick up 4 QB's to fuck with you. Sam Howell dropping a 60 burgr.

3. Chuck: What a shitty two weeks now, Bijan is him as figured, but outside of that it was a dud all the way around. I do not have much to say, I expect a huge bounce back this week.

4. Bryan: The Chef has been cooking. Jacobs looks better, Kupp is back and will puka keep form? I think if you decide to go out and make a couple trades you can compete for it all. However, keep in mind, if Puka doesnt exist anymore and we see Mostert just fall off then you might fall back to the bottom.

5. Joe: Losing Tee higgins sucks, Mike Evans also hurt, Jahmyr Gibbs under utilized, Pittman taking a hit with Taylor back. You got a lot of question marks coming up and things you need to figure out for this squad, or we will see the worst draft fumble of all time. 

6. Nauch: Shiit I almost put you above Joe, but not yet. You have the best running back room in the league and well it might be time to trade one and go fufill the return to playoffs that you been looking for. Mr Fuck A draft has turned into MR Fuck A Round and find out.

7. Wings: MR Alas, You have rounded out your squad. Rhamondre will step up soon and Achane looks like he is here to stay. Pacheco is a nice piece and your recieving core is solid. You just need a TE. If we see consistency I think you can be a playoff team. 

8. Rob: Rob, running backs are always your problem and it still continues to be. Travis Swiftee cant get on the same page with Mahomes, Chase cant score and Your flex spot has put up a total on 10 points this year. Lot to figure out. 

9. Erik: Derrik Henry showed life and Breece hall unrestricted. Maybe it will save this sorry ass team. If not you should look into the tank or start making some trades. 

10. Ant: YOU DID IT YOU BEAT THE TOP TEAM IN THE LEAGUE FOR A WIN. CAN YOU MAKE IT 2 find out on the next episode of Punjabi's Curse. 

Ant's Power Rankings - 

1. Gio:  HE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS.  Gio has found himself at the top of the league once again.  Being carried by guys like Zach Moss and Nico Collins is ridiculous and of course it happens for Gio.  Gio finds himself at a more than respectable 4-0 to start the year and is ready to try and go for his first undefeated season and cement his dynasty.

2. Ryan: Despite Ryans giant stinker last week he find himself in the number 2 spot this week.  Its not every week that he will find himself with a 1 point game from Olave and negative points from his defense so im not too worried.  If Ryan can defeat Gio this week without Big Herb behind him he can catapult himself back into the #1 spot.  But until then,  he sits right behind him.

3. Chuck:  Chuck keeps laughing at the curse I placed on him and its blown up in his face 2 weeks in a row now.  While he might have the best projections and names in the league this season has shown the extreme boom or bust nature of the team.  Of course, this is not the final team chuck will end up with or even the team he has by the time this blog drops.

4. Joe:  Not a lot of shakeup from previous weeks PR leaves Joe in the number 4 spot after defeating the man he is accused of collusion with.  With the total drop in offense across the league last week, Joes team came back down to earth.  While Jahmyr Gibbs is looking like a bust a quarter of the way into the year guys like Deandre Swift and James Cook have more than stepped up to make his team one to look out for as the year continues.

5. Bryan:  I guess he feels like he's finally getting the respect he deserves.  Bryan has been carried by two people this year, Puka Fucking Nacua and the Cowboys defense.  Now that he gets Cooper Kupp back and he gets Josh Jacobs to finally show up for him Bryan finds himself in the top 5 for the first time this year.  A few trades and this team can be a serious contender for not only the playoffs for the title.

6. Wings: The commish has finally vaulted himself into the win column after a huge win over his rival Erik this week.  Wings put up a league high 221 points to lead himself to a victory and the respect of the league.  Josh Allen has finally showed why he is always a early MVP candidate and his trade of Pollard and Kyren Williams has gotten back some more than respectable pieces, despite what the blogger boys thought. 

7. Nauch:  Nauch had his best game of the year so far and not only that, things are only going to keep getting better for him as he has Kamara back already and Jonathon Taylor ready to go next. Nauch has been left out of the top 5 of the power rankings all year, but hes 1 trade away from getting there and another few trades from making himself a serious threat

8. Rob:  While Robs team has done what it always does this year has felt a little different than the hype trains before.  Jamaar Chase hasnt been the guy everyone expected him to be, Travis Kelce isnt the TE 1 anymore.and his team has been decimated by injuries and a weak bench.  Eventually Rob is going to need to make a move, whether thats for more depth, more starters, or picks.  A true fork in the road situation.

9. Erik:  This has been an extremely disappointing year for Erik.  His fall from grace has been rough to say the least and his team has been all over the place to start the year.  This week he has 3 potential starters on a bye week which is not going to make things easier.  Trusting your season in Justin Fields hands can be a very dangerous game to play it also doesnt help when the ghost of Derrick Henry has stunk up most of his season.

10. Ant: I got a win. A win is a win and no one can take that away from me.  

Match Up Prediction records - 

Chuck 10 - 5

Wings 7 - 8 

Ant 6 - 9

God these guys sucks at predictions lmaoooo.

Matchup of the week - 

THE BATTLE FOR FIRST 

GIO VS RYAN - CHUCK: Ryan - Ant: Gio - Wings: Gio

Matchups 

Chuck Vs Nauch - Chuck: Chuck - Ant: Nauch - Wings: Chuck

Wings Vs Ant - Chuck: Wings - Ant: Wings - Wings: Wings

Bryan Vs Joe - Chuck: Joe - Ant: Joe - Wings: Joe

Erik Vs Rob - Chuck: Rob - Ant: Erik - Wings: Rob